What is a trigger?
A trigger is when something happens, or someone says or does something that makes you go from 0-100. This could be caused by unresolved trauma, beliefs, or past experiences. You become so mad or upset that you go into an emotional frenzy. It is possible to experience all of the emotions and that’s okay. We all have triggers, and most times it stems from something that happened in another lifetime or this one.
Learning to recognize and understand your triggers is very important for your emotion well being, and personal growth. Awareness is the first step, being aware of your emotions without judgment.
Triggers are: Experiencing a strong emotional reaction of fear, shock, anger, or worry, especially because you are made to remember something bad that has happened in the past. https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/triggered
This may help
When you’re triggered pay attention to the very moment it happened and what transpired. Take a few deep breaths and ask yourself “why does this bother me so much?” Sit with that for a minute and feel the pain. You can’t heal it until you feel it. Once you can answer that question, ask yourself why again.
Here’s an example:
Q: Why did I get so upset?
A: Because it reminded me of how I felt when I was yelled at when I was younger.
Q: Why were you yelled at?
A: Because I couldn’t remember how to complete my homework.
Q: Why would I get in trouble for that?
A: Because mom couldn’t help me with it, she didn’t know how
Q: Why didn’t she know how?
A: Because she dropped our of school at an early age….
Do you see where I’m going? If you continue to ask yourself “why” you will eventually get to the root of the trigger. Most times our traumas are not ours. This is something passed down for generations and we end up carrying the burden. Please know that there is nothing wrong with you. Your feelings are valid. If you decide to dig deeper, know that this will not be easy. You may feel like giving up. But If you press through, you will know why certain things are triggering for you. You will also understand the reasons behind them.
Listed below are some common emotional triggers:
- Fear of failure
- Fear of being abandonment
- Being criticized by friends and family
- Being betrayed by friends and family
- Fear of rejection
Remember it’s important to pay attention to what’s triggering you, and how it made you feel. Then you can work on getting to the root of it all. Don’t forget to breath and write it down. Journaling will help you process your thoughts and feelings. Don’t judge yourself, just write. Communicate your feelings when someone steps out of line with you. Say “hey, I really don’t like the way you’re speaking to me.” and set boundaries. Seek professional help for guidance and tools to assist in your healing. Healing from trauma is a process. Be patient with yourself. Take time to yourself, to process everything. To gain understanding of what happened and why.
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